7 Things That Helped Me Through My Divorce (That I Still Use Today)

July 20, 2026 by Nichole Banks

"Healing didn't happen all at once. It happened one candle, one journal page, one deep breath, and one tiny act of self-love at a time."
— Nichole Banks

Whether you just found me today, you've read my book, How to Navigate Heartache, Healing & Love After Divorce, or you've been listening to The Nichole Banks Podcast, I'm so glad you're here.

However you arrived...

Welcome.

If you're in the middle of a divorce—or even years past it—you probably already know one thing:

Divorce is messy.

It isn't just signing papers or dividing furniture.

It's grieving the future you thought you'd have.

It's lying awake at 2:00 a.m. wondering if you'll ever feel like yourself again.

It's learning how to eat dinner alone.

It's questioning your decisions.

It's crying in the shower because it's the only place no one can hear you.

And sometimes...

It's laughing at something ridiculous and then immediately feeling guilty because, for just a second, you forgot you were hurting.

I've been there.

Not as someone who read about divorce in a textbook.

Not as someone with all the perfect answers.

But as a woman who has walked through heartbreak, questioned everything, and slowly found her way back to herself.

When people ask me how I healed, they often expect me to list some magical five-step formula.

The truth?

Healing wasn't one giant breakthrough.

It was hundreds of tiny moments.

Lighting a candle at the end of a hard day.

Wrapping myself in a weighted blanket when anxiety took over.

Writing in a journal instead of texting someone who couldn't give me the answers I was looking for.

Coloring in a ridiculous swear word coloring book because sometimes laughter really is medicine.

None of these things fixed my divorce.

They didn't erase the loneliness.

They didn't make the grief disappear overnight.

But they reminded me to keep taking care of the woman who was trying so hard to hold herself together.

That's what this list is.

These aren't sponsored recommendations from someone who has never lived through heartbreak.

These are things I genuinely used, loved, and still keep around today.

If they brought even a little comfort to me during one of the hardest seasons of my life, maybe they'll do the same for you.

So grab a cup of coffee—or a glass of wine. No judgment either way—and let's dive into a few of my favorite things that made healing feel just a little bit lighter.

This post contains affiliate links. If you purchase through one of these links, I may earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. I only recommend products I've personally used, loved, or would happily recommend to my closest friends.

1. A Lavender Aromatherapy Candle with Crystals 🌿

There is something incredibly calming about lighting a candle at the end of a difficult day.

During my divorce, it became my signal that it was time to stop replaying every conversation, stop wondering why things happened the way they did, and simply allow myself to breathe.

Lavender has always been my favorite scent because it instantly makes a room feel peaceful. I especially loved candles with crystals inside because they felt like a little reminder that healing can still be beautiful—even when life feels messy.

Why I loved it:

• Helped create a calming evening routine

• Made the house feel peaceful instead of lonely

• Encouraged me to slow down and simply breathe

👉 Shop my favorite lavender candle here.

2. My Weighted Blanket 🤍

This blanket became my security blanket...and I have absolutely zero shame admitting it.

Some nights my anxiety was so high I couldn't fall asleep.

My mind would replay conversations, imagine worst-case scenarios, or wonder what the future would look like.

The gentle pressure of a weighted blanket helped me feel grounded when everything else felt uncertain.

Years later...

I still sleep with one almost every night.

Why I loved it:

• Helped calm my anxiety

• Encouraged deeper sleep

• Felt like a comforting hug on the hardest nights

👉 Shop my favorite weighted blanket here.

3. My Journal ✍️

My journal knows things no one else does.

It heard every angry thought.

Every fearful thought.

Every hopeful thought.

Some days I wrote one paragraph.

Other days I filled page after page with tears falling onto the paper.

Writing became therapy long before I ever hired a coach.

Looking back now, it's incredible to see how far I've come simply by giving my heart a safe place to speak.

Why I loved it:

• Helped me process overwhelming emotions

• Allowed me to be completely honest

• Became a record of my healing journey

👉 See the journal I recommend. Here

4. Herbal Tea & My Favorite Mug ☕

This wasn't really about the tea.

It was about creating one peaceful moment in a day that often felt chaotic.

Every evening I'd make a cup of tea, wrap up in a blanket, and remind myself...

"You made it through today."

Healing isn't always about huge breakthroughs.

Sometimes it's simply learning how to comfort yourself with kindness.

👉 Shop my favorite tea and cozy mug here.

5. A Good Book That Reminded Me I Wasn't Alone 📚

There were days I needed someone to remind me that life wasn't over.

Books became that friend.

Some inspired me.

Some challenged me.

Some made me cry.

But every one of them reminded me that women have survived heartbreak before me—and I would too.

Years later, after doing my own healing, I realized I wanted to be that voice for another woman.

That's why I wrote How to Navigate Heartache, Healing & Love After Divorce.

It's the book I wish someone had handed me on the days I wondered if I'd ever feel happy again.

If your heart feels heavy today, I hope it reminds you that this chapter isn't the end of your story.

👉 You can grab my book here, along with a few other favorites that helped me heal.

6. Adult Swear Words Coloring Book: Live, Laugh, F** Off* 😂

Okay...

This one probably made me laugh more than anything else during my divorce.

Some days I handled everything with grace.

Other days?

Not so much.

This coloring book was the perfect reminder that healing doesn't always have to look pretty.

Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is laugh.

I'd light my candle, grab my markers, pour a cup of tea, and spend half an hour coloring words I definitely shouldn't say in front of my grandmother.

Oddly enough...

It was incredibly therapeutic.

Laughter really is medicine.

Why I loved it:

• It made me laugh when I desperately needed one.

• It gave my anxious mind something to focus on.

• It reminded me that healing doesn't always have to be serious.

• It's a whole lot cheaper than throwing dishes. 😉

👉 Grab the coloring book that kept me laughing through the chaos.

7. A Soft Throw Blanket & Cozy Socks 🧦

If there was an Olympic event for getting cozy...

I would've taken home the gold medal.

Movie nights.

Journal nights.

Reading nights.

There were evenings when I simply needed to feel safe.

Healing doesn't always happen while you're checking things off your to-do list.

Sometimes it happens wrapped in your favorite blanket, wearing fuzzy socks, eating popcorn, and realizing...

You're actually going to be okay.

Maybe not completely healed.

But definitely healing.

👉 See my favorite cozy finds. Here

One Last Thing...

None of these things fixed my divorce.

They didn't erase the grief.

They didn't magically make me wake up one morning feeling completely healed.

But they helped.

They brought little moments of comfort when my heart desperately needed them.

And sometimes that's how healing works.

Not in giant leaps.

But in hundreds of tiny moments that slowly remind you who you are again.

If you're reading this while your heart feels heavy, I want you to hear me when I say this:

You are not broken.

You are rebuilding.

One breath.

One choice.

One day at a time.

And one day you'll look back, just like I have, and realize that the woman you became through the heartbreak is stronger, wiser, and more beautiful than you ever imagined.

I'm cheering for you every step of the way.

With love,

Nichole

Your Next Step Starts Here

If dating after divorce still feels confusing, exhausting, or emotionally messy… you’re not alone. If this spoke to you, don’t stop here.

✨ Listen to the Podcast – real conversations, real healing Here.
✨ Take the Quiz – find out exactly where you are Here.
✨ Start Your Comeback – grab the book

👉 Choose what feels right for you and take one step forward

With love and strength,
Nichole Banks
Divorce Coach | Host of The Nichole Banks Podcast

💛 P.S. If this hit home… send it to a friend who needs it. You never know who’s quietly going through it too.

Follow Me:
Instagram: @msnicholebanks
Website: nicholebanks.com

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