So, Your Holidays Didn’t Go as Planned? Here’s How to Recover Like a Queen
"One messy holiday doesn’t define your future—it’s just a chapter, and you hold the pen to write the next one with joy, love, and a little sparkle."– Nichole Banks
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Hello Beautiful,
So, Your Holidays Didn’t Go as Planned? Here’s How to Recover Like a Queen
The holidays are supposed to be all about magic and joy—the kind of moments that look straight out of a Hallmark movie. But let’s get real: sometimes they turn out to be more of a holiday horror show. For divorced women, the season can bring its own set of challenges. Maybe you had to share space with your ex (ugh), the kids weren’t around (cue the silence), or you didn’t get the attention or connection you were hoping for. If your holiday didn’t exactly scream "festive cheer," don’t worry—you’re in good company. Let’s talk about how to recover and turn this season into a win for YOU.
When Holidays Hit Different
Holidays after divorce can be tricky. There’s a new normal to adjust to, and sometimes it’s less "deck the halls" and more "duck and cover." You’re not alone if you felt:
Awkwardness around the ex. Maybe you ran into them at a holiday event, or worse, had to co-parent under one roof.
Loneliness when the kids weren’t there. That empty house? Not exactly the soundtrack to "It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year."
Disappointment from unmet expectations. Whether it was a partner, family, or even yourself, it’s hard when things just don’t measure up.
But here’s the thing: one crummy holiday doesn’t define your life, your healing, or your future. It’s just a moment—and moments are what we make of them. So, let’s rewrite this season’s story.
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Feel It, Don’t Freeze It
First things first: if your holiday tanked, it’s okay to feel disappointed. Grab a cozy blanket, your favorite comfort food, and give yourself permission to have a little cry or journal it out. The trick is not to get stuck there. Set a timer if you need to! Fifteen minutes to wallow, and then it’s time to move on to the good stuff.
Flip the Script
Holidays not going as planned can be the perfect opportunity to create something new—on your terms. Here’s how:
Solo Pampering Day: Did the kids spend the day with your ex? Use the time to treat yourself to a spa day, complete with a bubble bath, candles, and a guilty-pleasure movie marathon. (Pro tip: add snacks.)
Friendsmas FTW: Who says you need family around to feel festive? Host a Friendsmas or holiday gathering with your chosen family. Think charcuterie boards, holiday cocktails, and laughter—lots of it.
New Traditions, Who Dis? Start a new tradition that’s just for you. Maybe it’s a morning hike, an indulgent holiday breakfast, or volunteering at a local shelter. Find something that lights you up and make it a yearly ritual.
If you need more support or want to dive deeper into these topics, check out my latest course, How to Navigate Heartache, Healing & Love After Divorce, or join my community in How to Navigate Facebook group. And don’t forget to grab your copy of my upcoming book (details coming soon)! You’ve got this, and I’m here to help you every step of the way.
From Holiday Blues to Holiday Boss
The holidays are just a blip in the bigger picture of your beautiful life. Use the bumps in the road as stepping stones to discover what truly makes you happy. Remember: you’re not defined by one awkward dinner, one quiet night, or one unmet expectation. You’re a queen who’s learning, growing, and making this new chapter her own.
Find the Silver Linings
Even in the chaos, there’s always something to be grateful for. Try this quick gratitude exercise: jot down three things you’re thankful for from the holiday, no matter how small. Did the coffee hit just right? Did you catch a sweet moment on a holiday movie? Gratitude has a magical way of shifting your mindset.
When in Doubt, Reach Out
If loneliness hits hard, don’t be afraid to reach out. Call a friend, join a community event, or even connect with others online. There’s so much power in realizing you’re not alone—and chances are, someone else could use your support just as much as you need theirs.
Wrap-Up: Reclaim Your Joy
Holidays may not always go as planned, but they’re also not the final word on your happiness. You have the power to pivot, to create joy where it feels lacking, and to remind yourself that this life is yours to shape.
So here’s to you—recovering, reinventing, and rocking this season like the boss you are. And if all else fails, pour yourself some spiked eggnog and dance it out in the kitchen. You’ve got this.
Nichole xx
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Instagram: @msnicholebanks
Website: nicholebanks.com
With love and strength,
Nichole Banks
Divorce Coach & Host of The Nichole Banks Podcast
Dare to begin your journey to healing, happiness, and new beginnings. ✨
Host of The Nichole Banks Podcast
Creator of the Boundaries 101 Course
Don’t forget to subscribe to NicholeBanks.com for weekly tips and fun updates!
P.S. If this post resonated with you, share it with someone who might need a little nudge to embrace change. Let’s spread the love—and the courage. 💛
The Nichole Banks Podcast:
Looking for a podcast that’s equal parts empowering and fun? The Nichole Banks Podcast is your ultimate guide to thriving after divorce. Hosted by Nichole Banks—a divorce recovery coach who’s been there, done that, and found love again—this show is packed with real talk, practical tips, and a dash of humor to keep it light.
Recent fan favorites include:
🎙️ Episode: 107. How to Build Trust Again after a Bad Divorce?
🎙️ Episode: 103. Boundaries with Michaela Gaffin Stone
🎙️ Episode: 100. The Real Pain of Not Changing
Ready to laugh, learn, and level up? Subscribe to The Nichole Banks Podcast—your new best friend in your earbuds. ✨
