If My Boundaries Are Too Much for You, Go Find Less
"Your boundaries aren’t walls—they’re doorways to the life you deserve. If someone doesn’t like the entry fee, let them walk away."– Nichole Banks
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Hello Beautiful,
If My Boundaries Are Too Much for You, Go Find Less
Boundaries. The word alone might make some people twitch, but for us, it’s a full-body power pose. Setting boundaries isn’t about being mean or difficult; it’s about protecting your peace and giving others a roadmap to treating you with respect. But here’s the thing: not everyone will read the map—or even try. And some will flat-out tell you your boundaries are “too much.”
To them, I say: If my boundaries are too much for you, go find less.
I once dated someone who thought it was cute to “surprise” me by showing up uninvited, usually during my sacred me-time. One Saturday, I was mid-facemask and deep into a trashy true-crime binge when—ding dong—there he was, holding a pizza like it was a bouquet of roses. When I politely reminded him about my need for alone time, he said, “Wow, I didn’t realize you were so rigid about stuff like this.” I smiled sweetly and replied, “Wow, I didn’t realize you didn’t own a calendar app.” That was the last pizza I shared with him, and let me tell you, it was worth it.
Setting boundaries doesn’t make you rigid; it makes you real. It’s not your job to cater to everyone else’s whims or tolerate their lack of consideration. Boundaries say, “I value myself, and I expect you to do the same—or exit stage left.”
Let’s Talk About the Hard Stuff
Why is it so hard to set boundaries? Guilt. Fear. The nagging feeling that you’re being “too much.” Spoiler alert: you’re not. Boundaries are about creating space for what matters—whether that’s your energy, your sanity, or your sacred facemask-and-Netflix rituals.
Here’s what you need to know when someone tries to make you feel bad for setting limits:
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1. Boundaries Define Who You Are—And Who You’re Not
Your boundaries are the chalk outline of your best self. They say, “This is where I end and you begin.” If someone keeps erasing the lines, it’s not because they care too much—it’s because they don’t care enough. Stick to your lines, and don’t hand over the eraser.
2. “Too Much” Is Their Problem, Not Yours
When someone says your boundaries are “too much,” what they’re really saying is, “You’re making it harder for me to take advantage of you.” Clap for yourself. This is a win. The right people will see your boundaries as a green light to respect you more, not a red flag to walk away.
3. Boundaries Are Acts of Love—For Yourself and Others
Think of boundaries as the love language no one talks about. They’re not just for protecting your peace; they’re also for teaching others how to love you better. When you communicate your needs clearly, you’re giving people the tools to rise to your level—or gracefully bow out.
4. Your Boundaries Are Non-Negotiable—So Negotiate Less
If you find yourself constantly justifying your boundaries, stop. You don’t owe anyone a PowerPoint presentation on why you value your time, energy, or emotional well-being. “Because I said so” works just as well in adulthood as it did on a five-year-old.
5. Saying “No” Is Your Superpower
“No” is a complete sentence, and boundaries are its punctuation. People who push back against your “no” are usually the ones who benefited from your “yes” at your own expense. Flip the script. Saying no isn’t selfish; it’s strategic. It’s you choosing you.
If you need more support or want to dive deeper into these topics, check out my latest course, How to Navigate Heartache, Healing & Love After Divorce, or join my community in How to Navigate Facebook group. And don’t forget to grab your copy of my upcoming book (details coming soon)! You’ve got this, and I’m here to help you every step of the way.
Boundaries: Your Personal Peacekeepers
If someone balks at your boundaries, remember: their discomfort isn’t your burden. It’s okay if they think your standards are too high. They can go find less. You’re busy building a life where your time, energy, and peace are protected, and anyone who can’t handle that can show themselves the door.
And if setting boundaries still feels like uncharted territory, don’t worry—you don’t have to do it alone. My Boundaries 101 Course is here to help you master the art of saying no, protecting your energy, and teaching others how to respect the fabulous queen that you are. It’s not just a course—it’s a toolkit for reclaiming your life.
Because life is too short to spend it apologizing for wanting more—or settling for less. Let’s dare to begin, together. 💪
Want More?
If you’re craving more actionable steps to rebuild boundaries in your relationships, check out my latest podcast episode, where I dive into all the steps you need to trust again without losing yourself in the process. Trust me, you won’t want to miss it!
Until next time, remember: Trust is a journey, not a destination. You’ve got this, and I’m cheering you on every step of the way!
Follow Me:
Instagram: @msnicholebanks
Website: nicholebanks.com
With love and strength,
Nichole Banks
Divorce Coach & Host of The Nichole Banks Podcast
Dare to begin your journey to healing, happiness, and new beginnings. ✨
Host of The Nichole Banks Podcast
Creator of the Boundaries 101 Course
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P.S. If this post resonated with you, share it with someone who might need a little nudge to embrace change. Let’s spread the love—and the courage. 💛
The Nichole Banks Podcast:
Looking for a podcast that’s equal parts empowering and fun? The Nichole Banks Podcast is your ultimate guide to thriving after divorce. Hosted by Nichole Banks—a divorce recovery coach who’s been there, done that, and found love again—this show is packed with real talk, practical tips, and a dash of humor to keep it light.
Recent fan favorites include:
🎙️ Episode: 107. How to Build Trust Again after a Bad Divorce?
🎙️ Episode: 103. Boundaries with Michaela Gaffin Stone
🎙️ Episode: 100. The Real Pain of Not Changing
Ready to laugh, learn, and level up? Subscribe to The Nichole Banks Podcast—your new best friend in your earbuds. ✨
