The Empty Dishwasher Syndrome: Why It’s Not About the Dishes at All
“An empty dishwasher isn’t a symbol of loss—it’s a reminder that your space, your peace, and your future are yours to fill.”
Nichole Banks 🌸🧭
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The Empty Dishwasher Syndrome: Why It’s Not About the Dishes at All
By Nichole Banks | Divorce Coach & Host of The Nichole Banks Podcast
Have you ever opened your dishwasher and stopped in your tracks? One lonely plate. One fork. A single wine glass winking at you from the top rack. And suddenly, you’re crying over silverware like it’s a Nicholas Sparks movie.
Welcome to what I call The Empty Dishwasher Syndrome. And no, it’s not really about dishes—it’s about the sneaky, silent shifts that come after divorce.
From Chaos to Quiet
Remember when dishes used to multiply like bunnies? When the sink was a mountain range of cereal bowls and coffee mugs? You’d roll your eyes, mutter about no one else knowing where the dishwasher was, and slam those plates in.
Fast forward—and suddenly it’s just your mug, your fork, your pizza plate. The quiet hits you like a freight train.
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Why It Feels Heavy
Here’s the truth: it’s never about the dishes. It’s about routine, about missing the buzz of another person in your space. That half-empty dishwasher is code for: I’m alone now.
And emptiness? It feels heavy.
But emptiness isn’t loss—it’s space. Space that’s waiting to be filled with things that belong to you this time. That’s not sad, babe—that’s possibility.
The Hidden Perks
Let’s be real—there are upsides. Fewer dishes. Less laundry. The freedom to use the dishwasher as a drying rack for your wine glasses (efficiency at its finest).
And the sacred right to eat ice cream straight from the pint without commentary. Honestly? Priceless.
How to Cope with the Quiet
Name it. Say out loud: This feels empty. Pretending it doesn’t hurt is exhausting.
Create new rituals. Pizza Fridays in pajamas. Candlelit Tuesdays. A dishwasher that doubles as wine storage.
Reframe the silence. Silence isn’t punishment—it’s peace. It’s yours.
Celebrate the wins. That half-empty dishwasher? Babe, it’s proof you’re finally living for you.
My Story
After my divorce, the quiet felt unbearable. I used to turn the TV on just to hear something. Then one night, I turned it off—and sat with the silence. At first, it was brutal. But slowly, it shifted. It stopped feeling like an echo of what I’d lost and started feeling like the calm I didn’t know I needed.
The empty dishwasher wasn’t emptiness—it was freedom.
Ready to Go Deeper?
If this article hit home (and maybe hit a few nerves in the best way), don’t stop here. This kind of healing deserves support, community, and real tools—not just inspiration.
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Thought to Leave You With
What in your life feels “empty” right now? And instead of rushing to fill it, what would it look like to let that space stay open until something truly right comes along?
The empty dishwasher isn’t a loss. It’s an invitation—an invitation to decide what joy, home, and peace look like for you.
The empty dishwasher may look like loss, but it’s really an invitation—an invitation to fill your life with what truly belongs. You are not empty. You are whole. You are just learning a new rhythm.
Until next time—dare to begin.
Nichole Banks 🌸🧭
P.S. Need a daily dose of inspiration, real talk, and a little sass on your healing journey?
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Recent fan favorites include:
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